Procrastinating? 3 questions guaranteed to get you moving

Procrastinating? 3 questions guaranteed to get you moving

It happens to the best of us: you’ve got something that’s been sitting—stuck!—on your to-do list for months now.

Sitting there, smug and unmoving, and bugging the life out of you. You want to kick it.

That brilliant creative idea that was going to change the world, or that new marketing venture for your online business. An idea for a book, or a painting.

I’m not talking about the tasks you have to do, like tax returns, or getting the car serviced. I’m talking about that project that you know will improve your life no end … if you can just get going on it.

Today is the day it is going to happen. You have the whole day stretching out ahead of you with no appointments. The decks are clear so you can make headway right now. Yes. do it image

You sigh, take a deep breath, grab a coffee from the kitchen and gear yourself up. Yes, right now you will finally get started on your dreams.

Only first … you just need to check your email in case someone has tried to contact you in the last 10 minutes, and then Facebook to check in with what’s going on in the world….just get all that out of the way so you can start working. Indeed.

Two hours later you emerge, blinking and groggy, and oh look, it’s time to fix lunch. picture of dog

Before you know it, it’s mid-afternoon and you may as well nap. Or catch a few minutes of Ellen, or Dr. Phil. Judge Judy in a pinch. Oh, now the dogs need walking. Can’t put them off.

Almost time for Netflix….

You’ve accomplished nothing! Another day gone and you don’t feel especially good about yourself. I guess it’s time to write this day off, stop beating yourself up, and relax. Eat some chocolate.

After all, tomorrow is another day. Said Scarlett. Right before Rhett walked out on her.  quote about tomorrow

Day after day after day, you put this project on your list and determine to do it, and then don’t. Whatever your strategy, it isn’t working….

Say hello to procrastination, the bugbear hidden strategy of most creative people…

 … freelancers, entrepreneurs, artists, writers…. and retirees in particular. Really, anybody who doesn’t have a job that forces them to hit deadlines, or a boss keeping a beady eye out for results. Nobody to answer to for how time is being spent.

OK, peeps, so what is the problem here? We all put things off. What’s the big deal?

The deal is this. Nothing feels better than getting something done that you’ve been meaning to do. And nothing feels worse than that sinking feeling time is just slipping away and you’re not spending it well. It can make you feel useless and your life meaningless. That’s yucky.

Here are 3 questions guaranteed to bounce you out of this endless cycle of non-doing!

You can get that project off the starting block, the introduction to the new book written, that new painting sketched in. And you won’t have to schedule a whole day to break the procrastination habit. You just need 5 minutes.

This 3 step solution will release those blocks and make you feel like a hundred bucks. You’ll feel so pumped up and pleased with yourself you won’t believe it.

Honestly, there is no better feeling than actually getting something done! And these questions are your ticket to ride.

They uncover the most common reasons people like you and I procrastinate.quote about creative procrastination

Here they are. Ready?

Think about what you are putting off doing.

1) Does the idea of doing it make my heart sing, or fill me with fear and loathing? Can you honestly ever see yourself doing it? Maybe you are dragging your feet because you know deep down that it’s never going to happen and you don’t really want to do it. In which case, drop it now and don’t think about it again. Ever. You didn’t really want to learn to dance Salsa. Not really. It was a pipe dream. All your friends were raving about it. Sounds utterly exhausting.

Take a few minutes thinking about this task or project. If you feel it absolutely is something you want to do, then ask yourself the next question.

2) What decision do I need to make? Almost all procrastination can be traced back to some decision that needs to be taken that is being avoided. Most of us don’t like making decisions so will put them off indefinitely, and unconsciously it stops us from taking action. Who do I need to call? What do I need to buy? Whose help do I need to ask for? Which art class should I join? What subject do I want to blog on? Write my book about?

 Identify that unmade decision and figure out what you need to do to become resolved and get cracking. What decision is holding you back? What information do you need? Then move on to…

3) What action can I take right now that will release the floodgates and get me sailing? What is one tiny step towards getting it started that you can do right now? Do not commit to a day’s work, an hour’s work, just 5 minutes. Set up the blank page on your computer and put a title at the top, get your paintbrushes out and set up the easel, dig up that phone number and put it by the phone, find the exercise mat and put it in front of the TV.

Spend 5 minutes doing something, anything that will get you started.

No more than 5 minutes!

(I’m not going to comment on how 5 minutes can stretch out to fill a morning or afternoon. That would spoil the surprise.)

You usually put things off when they feel overwhelming. The task is too big. You don’t know how to start. You’re not sure you can do it. You can’t make up your mind about something.

Answer these questions and I guarantee your productivity will increase; you will get that job done, or at least started, and feel amazingly wonderful about yourself.

You’ve earned that Netflix binge.

Now excuse me please, I need to check my email. It’s been at least 15 minutes….

 

If you like this you may like some of my books on coaching. They are full of useful life-enhancing hacks and tips.

Or you may like some coaching, in person or via Skype or Zoom. My job is to help you get your life to work the way you want it to. Contact me below.

Want to manage stress? Here is the perfect tool

Let’s be honest—we all experience stress. We all experience problems. Some big, some not so big.

The big stuff:

  • A health issue that won’t go away. You’re still waiting test results.
  • That huge debt that’s keeping you tossing and turning at night. You wake up exhausted.
  • That relationship! What to do? It’s been on the skids for years. You need to make a decision soon.
  • That friend/partner/family member who is drinking again.
  • The recent presidential election. (Do we want to go there?)

Then there are the little niggly things that bug you:

  • The noisy neighbor. The loud music.
  • The barking dog.
  • The new person in your group that talks too much and is spoiling it for all of you.
  • That relative with totally different political views that just drive you crazy.

Whatever it is, stress and worry from problems can steal your energy and leave you feeling emotionally hung over.

Let’s face it—even if this problem goes away, another will soon take its place. That’s life.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a way to deal with problems like these that dissolves the stress—even if it doesn’t necessarily dissolve the problem?

A way to handle all stress, no matter what the source, that gives you a new point of view, a philosophy, a new way of looking at it that gives a sense of perspective?

Something, anything, that helps you cope? Feel more peaceful?

Good news! There is an emotional rescue remedy. I call it my Meta Stress Manager.

Let me share.

I first came across this set of 3 questions years ago, in the 90s, when I was a business trainer and this meme was making the rounds in training circles.

I remember going all cold with the ‘aha’ moment I experienced— as I was simultaneously overcome with jealousy that I hadn’t thought of it first.

It was simple, easy to remember—at the same time profound. It has its roots in Buddhist thought, at least according to Buddhist legend.

Here was something I could actually use—not just something that sounded clever.

Here was something I could remember easily when I needed it—not something complicated with lots of steps and phrases that needed memorizing.

And definitely this was something that could help me with almost every problem I had. A true ‘meta’ solution, kind of like an umbrella over all the stuff in my life causing stress and worry.

Here we go.

The very next time you are feeling anxiety, stress, worry or experiencing something disturbing, ask yourself:

  • Can I change it?

 

  1. Can I accept it?

 

  1. Can I walk away from it?

 

Clue: You are working to find a yes somewhere in these 3 otherwise you’re in for trouble. Expect to explode shortly.

Let’s look at this more closely.

  • If you can change it, then take action. If you can’t act at this moment, then make a plan for action. Then let go of the stress. You are doing your best. Action is the absolute best stress reliever. Go on that march. Write that Senator.
  • If you really cannot change it, and there is nothing more you can do to affect the situation, can you learn to accept it or resign yourself to it? Can you learn to live with it? If so, surrender to reality. You can’t change those election results. You can’t live that person’s life for them. Accept what is, and then drop the stress. Drop it now—it’s not serving any purpose.
  • If no to both of these then the third option is —can you simply walk away from it? Get out, break off the relationship, move away, change jobs. You know that relationship is never going to work. You know you’ll never be happy living in Kansas. You can’t live with someone who is mentally ill if they won’t get treatment without destroying your own life.

So walk away. You can’t change it and it will never be acceptable to you. It’s ok; you’re not a selfish monster, just realistic. You can always move to the Antarctic.

This is your first port of call when experiencing stress.

Figure out what works for you. You can work with one, two, or all three.

If you can do all 3, then so much the better.

For instance, you can remove yourself from a nasty situation, and try your best to change it from a distance, at the same time accepting the reality of what is and feeling OK with it.

You may not be able to walk away from that health problem, but you can work to change it and accept what is at the same time.

You may not be able to walk away from that election result, (unless you unplug and become a hermit), but you can take what action you can, and accept what is, in the meantime.

This tool works for all kinds of issues and problems. It gives you a reframe, and a way to let go of the stress.

You don’t have to like it, but if there is nothing you can do, you don’t have to let it ruin your life either.

The key is to let go of the worry and stress. That will free you up to take effective action.

Try the Meta Stress Manager. I wish I had made it up. Really. I’d be a millionaire. It will help you. And it’s so easy.

Now stay tuned for how to deal with those problems that just won’t go away. You’ve done the Meta Stress Manager, and decided you want to take action or get used to it, but you’ve still got the issue to deal with.

I really love this—The Surrender Experiment

 

Margaret’s Blog—Coaching Hacks for the Hippie at Heart

This blog is for you if you sometimes feel life is off-kilter, out of harmony, and not sailing as smoothly as you would like it to.

Or you are grappling with getting the balance right between making a living vs doing what you love, or between social life and private time, or wasting hours on the internet vs being productive.

Maybe you would you would like more friends and love in your life, but people just really annoy you a lot of the time?

It’s for those times when too many transitions—retirement, kids leaving home, divorce, relocating—have left you overwhelmed and exhausted.

You’ve already bored your friends to death with your issues!

You know what would work, but you don’t have money to go on a retreat in Sedona just now. But hey, it would be really nice to get some practical advice and help from somewhere! Preferably free and quick, right?

Welcome to Coaching Hacks for the Hippie at Heart!

If you’ve read this far I might know a little about you.

You’re a Seeker, a non-conformist, a bit of a rebel. A hippie at heart.

You like to live life on your terms—fiercely independent.

You’re also up for almost anything different, new, exotic sounding, cutting edge.

And face it, you’ve made some non-conformist, free spirited life choices —a little out of the box at times.

And at times you’re reluctant to admit things aren’t really going great for you.

I’ve been there, through lots of transitions, and am here to tell the tale. Pretty sure I can help.

Stay tuned.

What I’m offering here in this blog are tips, hacks, shortcuts, from the personal development world.
Stuff with weird names like Neuro-linguistic Programming/Quantum Leaping/Law of Attraction/Life-Coaching/Neuro anything/Success Manifesting/Reiki/Psycho-cybernetics/hypnosis/Eckhart Tolle/Wayne Dyer/Oprah/Ellen/chakras/magic/Tony Robbins/shamanism/Wicca/Huna—know what I’m talking about?

Now go ahead, roll your eyes. I’ll wait. I’m skeptical too.

And I have to agree, there is a lot of nonsense going on as people want to cash in on this multi-billion dollar industry.

We live in a world of alternative facts, fake news, and shortcuts that don’t work. We want everything fast, have low thresholds for boredom and attention, and zero patience.

So I’m here to offer hacks from the personal development world that REALLY work. I know they do because I’ve been the guinea pig. They have helped me transition from relocation shock, a divorce, a move to Mexico, adjusting to a new partner—the whole shebang where I felt like I no longer knew how to run things—to a great new life with me in control. Mostly.

What I’m going to share with you in this blog worked for me—when nothing else did.

So my mission is to find the gems among the whack-a-doodle that will help you transform your life, make it run more smoothly, your relationships more harmoniously, be more successful in your career or calling, and to come into your fabulous, talented, outspoken self…..aging like a rebel in the process!

Hacks are shortcuts, tips, advice. And personal transformation takes time and thought and study and work! Just like mastery in any field, personal growth requires commitment and persistence.

So think of these hacks as chipping away at the layers and layers of hardened ideas and beliefs that are keeping you stuck and holding you back from being happy. Each little hack helps weaken the hardening and eventually you will break free. You won’t know what worked, and it won’t matter! You’ll be free and flowing and feeling fine.

“Sometimes one genuine insight is worth all your previous experiences in life.” 

(Syd Banks)

Welcome to my blog—Coaching Hacks for the Hippie at Heart

Do you sometimes feel your life is a little off kilter, out of harmony, and just not sailing as smoothly as you would like it to?

Maybe you are struggling to get the balance right between making a living and doing what you love, or between social life and private time, being on the internet and being productive?

You would like more friends and love in your life, but people just really annoy you.

Or maybe too many transitions—retirement, kids leaving home, divorce, relocating—have left you overwhelmed and exhausted.

You have big dreams but feel your life is all about stuff that needs doing and brings no joy.

You’ve already bored all your friends and family to death with your problems.

And you’re darned if you’re going to go to a therapist—you’re not mentally ill—and you don’t want medication from your doctor. You don’t have the money to go on a retreat in Santa Fe just now, but hey it surely would be nice to get some practical advice and help from somewhere!

Welcome to Coaching Hacks for the Hippie at Heart!

Here to help.

Let’s see, you’re a little stubborn.

A little rebellious, maybe?

Used to doing things your way and getting life to work on your terms.

You’ve made some non-conformist, free spirited life choices —a little out of the box at times.

You’re not willing to admit things aren’t really great right now. That would prove ‘they’ were right about you all along.

I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I know I can help. Stay tuned.

What I do is offer quick and easy tips, hacks, shortcuts, from the personal development world. You know, whack-a-doodle stuff like Neuro-linguistic Programming/Life-Coaching/Neuro/Quantum/Manifesting/Law of Attraction/Reiki/Psycho-cybernetics/hypnosis/Eckhart Tolle/Wayne Dyer/Oprah/Ellen/chakras/magic/Tony Robbins/shamanism—that kind of stuff. Don’t forget Wicca and anything Celtic.

Now go ahead, roll your eyes. I’m skeptical too.

But I’ll let you in on a little Secret (oh there’s another one).

Some of this stuff actually works. And works really well.

And it’s drug free. Can do no harm. Unless it’s to your purse if you get sucked into an expensive something.

But the things that work are what I’m interested in sharing with you.

I’ve been caught up in this personal development world for nearly 20 years. Obsessed. I’ve paid thousands of dollars on courses, retreats, qualifications in a lot of stuff nobody has ever heard of, and had a ball in the process. I have qualifications in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnotherapy, Time-line Therapy, and many others with strange names and ‘holistic’ and ‘quantum’ in the titles. I have been working as a Life-Coach and hypnotherapist for nearly 18 years. I am experienced, pretty darn good at what I do, have written 3 life-coaching books, run workshops, and work with clients personally.

I love it—everything about it.

But I admit, there is a lot of nonsense going on as people move to cash in on this billion dollar industry.

So I’m here to offer shortcuts, tips, and hacks from the personal development world that REALLY work. I know they do because I’ve been the guinea pig. They have saved me from confusion, transition shock, got me though a divorce, moving to Mexico, a new partner. The whole shebang where I felt like I no longer knew how to run my life.

What I’m going to share with you in this blog, worked… when nothing else did.

So my mission is to find the gems among the whack-a-doodle that will help you transform your life, make it run more smoothly, your relationships work more harmoniously, be more successful in your career or calling, and to come into your fabulous, talented, outspoken self…..and aging like a rebel.

Interested? Please read on.

“Sometimes one genuine insight is worth all your previous experiences in life.” 

(Syd Banks)